When Your Energy Says Yes, Listen

Learning to trust energy shifts, tiny sparks, and imperfect momentum.

This concept of energy management came to me because just managing my time wasn’t telling the full picture. Getting intentional about how I spend my time led me to realize even if I schedule out my time in perfect, intentional chunks, I might show up to a task or a time block and feel resistance, or worse… nothing. No spark. No readiness. What is that? What do I do with that? Does this just mean I’m lazy?

It’s been nearly a decade since that moment when I started to explore what the other variables in my time management equation could be. It took me a good long while to cultivate enough self compassion to simply recognize that my energy waxes and wanes for a hundred invisible reasons. Things like seasons, menstrual phases, how much socializing I’ve been doing, how busy or intense work has been, etc.

I’ve been lucky enough to have the same sleep schedule my whole life. I go to bed around 9pm and wake up around 5-6am. Besides a few short partying and pastry job stints in my early twenties, I’ve gotten more or less the same amount of sleep night to night, week to week. It’s a very boring blessing that I feel very grateful for. Back when I first started turning this equation, my first natural thought was maybe I’m not getting enough sleep, or too much sleep? But I quickly realized that wasn’t it. I noticed that I feel more energized when I work out and I implemented that into my life more consistently. I noticed I felt more physical energy when I ate whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, etc. But even when I dialed in my physical energy, sometimes I’d show up to a task and still be lacking… something.

When the energy wanes, this is where you’ll find me.

Emotions are energy in motion. They alert us to what is and isn’t working in our relationships, in our day to day to lives- they show us where things are in flow. When I think of the “flow state” I think about the mental flow- nothing is obstructing my thoughts. I’m not snagged on sticky emotions, I’m not thinking about unresolved issues (stuck energy), I’m simply flowing.

Spiritual energy was the next frontier. I started meditating to ease my anxiety- I thought I was clearing out emotional obstacles, and I was, but something else showed up. Through meditation and yoga (and some consciousness-raising drugs) I tapped back into a spiritual energy I had tried to ignore for a long time.

Being raised in an evangelical Christian environment and then deconstructing so much of my religion left me feeling spiritually stripped. I had pain and resentment and anger in the places where I used to feel God. And coming back to this place within myself, dedicating myself to working through those pain spots, I started to feel a spiritual energy again, a flow of a different flavor. It wasn’t the God I was raised to worship. It was something wilder, quieter. Like the first crumbs of peace.

These experiments with energy, this intense noticing and documenting, helped me understand values in a new way. When I started to feel the flow and when I felt blocked, I took note. What were the factors that contributed to the flow or the blockage? Understanding the blocks were easier.

I find myself blocked and energetically constipated when I:

• don’t do my morning pages

• don’t meditate

• don’t workout

• stay inside for too long

• eat too much sugar/fat/bread/dairy

• don’t drink enough water

• drink too much alcohol

• compulsively smoke weed

• checkout on social media

• doubt myself, my capabilities, my intentions

I find myself in an energetic flow when I:

• push myself in my workouts

• read books that feed my brain new knowledge

• see art in person

• have deep, meaningful conversations

• am connected to my people (partner, friends, etc)

• meditate

• do morning pages

• go outside in nature

• don’t fixate on finding pleasure through food

• am organized

• clean my house

Right now I’m on an energy upswing. It’s spring and my body feels it. I’m recommitting to my fitness journey and really enjoying myself. I’m doing it my way- my mantra is, “strong not skinny”. I’m amazed at the cascading effects that prioritizing movement is having on my life. I’m smoking less, I’m doing morning pages at 5 or 6am before my workout class. I get home and shower, get to my desk and my brain is clear and ready to work for a few hours. I have more patience with my partner, with myself, with friends. I make different choices with food because I want to feel good in my workout tomorrow. It’s the thing I’ve been most resisting the last few years and I am finally ready to give it some intentional energy.

My goal is to build confidence and something about seeing my physical progress, what I’m able to do week to week, is reminding me that I can do hard things and the feeling of making progress is so worth it. As I prepare to put some serious energy into the 90 Day Planner (I think I found a designer! Fingers crossed!) I need this constant reminder that I won’t get it perfect on the first try, but as long as I continue to show up and make an effort to improve, it will happen.

I’ve been resisting pushing myself physically for so many reasons: happy relationship, sedentary desk job, exhaustion from caretaking and work, self-pity, apathy, oppositional defiance against skinny culture, etc. And now I’m seeing that my life, this next chapter and what I hope to do, will require me to grow. Growth will require me to push beyond my limits, my self-limiting beliefs. And now I have all the pieces to support this effort. Now, I am able to shift my energy and it feels really good.

All of this is why Energy is a pillar of 90 Day Magic. It’s not just about tracking your time. It’s about listening to what flows, and what doesn’t—and building a life that honors the difference. There’s something there about letting yourself be where you’re at, doing what you can, and not forcing it until you’re ready. But the moment you get a whiff of that ready feeling, seize it.

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